Hot Topics: Food?

This weekend, I traveled back to visit my family, and at one point I found myself doing the weekly grocery shopping along side my parents.  As my parents and I, were zig-zagging our cart down the aisles... my parents noticed how often I was commenting on the “gross-ness” or “craziness” of certain food items.  The first was a food item called “beef chunks” that were sold next to the deli.  Judging by the packaging AND the fact that they were not refrigerated, I thought they were doggie treats! But they were side by side with pepperoni... not pup-peroni (side note, I know I’ve been a vegetarian for five years... but isn’t pepperoni supposed to be refrigerated too?).   When I investigated them further, they looked withered hot dog chunks, with a rind.  They really did look like dog treats, and although I bet my Jack Russell would LOVE them, their main purpose was for human consumption.  I turned to my folks and said “Who thought this was a good idea?”

As we continued our travels... there were many items on the shelves that made me react... in shock.  I started reflecting on the fact that I don’t notice these food items in the New York City area.  I began to question whether or not they were even available in NYC, and these items were suburban/rural specific.  Then I thought, maybe the reason is that because during my personal shopping outings, I’m mentally trained only notice those foods that are on my shopping list.  I wasn’t sure the reasoning. But after the third food item, I was hooked... and my eyes were locked... I was on a scavenger hunt to find the weirdest food items, I have never seen before.   After about the sixth time I commented about an odd food item, my father made a comment that I should have brought a camera, so that I could take pictures all of the food and then blog about them.  But alas... no camera... so instead began of the characteristics of the foods that seem to shock me most.  Here is my starting list... and I’d love to build the bank...

The food looks like it could pass as dog food, but it is in fact for humans: Started when I saw the “beef chunks” then solidified with a saw a Hormel Dinty Moore Microwavable meals that my father eats for lunch at work.

The food is a color that should only be seen in a crayola box:  This originated when I passed by a pop-tart that had neon green and neon blue frosting.  I have no idea was the filling was... but the box blinded me.

Foods that look like they are supposed to be refrigerated... but they’re not: Again... started with the beef chunks... solidified when I saw the Spam patty in a single serving package.  Apparently you just open and microwave, then place on a bun and you kinda have a hamburger?

Foods that make you question their purpose: There were “Cupcake Topper, Fruity Pebbles???”  I didn’t understand, am I supposed to buy these to decorate my cupcakes? but I’ve never seen cupcakes with fruity pebbles on them, should I be putting fruity pebbles on my cupcakes, are other people?  Wait, but this food item is in a box that resembles a cold breakfast cereal, I’d actually like to shake a cup or two in a bowl... then pour milk over them, is that ok?  I’m confused... I’m supposed to do both.. I think... ?

Help!  What other rules should I have? or do YOU have?